Impossibilities
by Jenwryn
Summary: Cameron/John. Set directly after Episode 1.08, "Vic's Chip". John's at the breakfast table and thinking about the events of the night before... Spoilers for the Ep, naturally.


_Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. Original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. Not beta read, don't shoot. _

_A/N:__ Written after watching last week's Sarah Connor Chronicles, Episode 1.08, "Vic's Chip"._ _And it does directly relate to that episode; I'd imagine you'd have to have seen it for it to make total sense. Hopefully my quotes aren't too off... I should go get the transcript out, but I'm a bit sleepy and I rather wanted to post this before watching tonight's episode._

_Dedication: For HaxeOrdinary, who mentioned she'd like to see some more Cameron/John by me._

* * *

**Impossibilities**

John sits at the table and eats breakfast. He isn't paying much attention to it - if you ask him in six minutes time which cereal he chose he won't be able to answer you. He's eating out of habit, because that's what you do after you get up in the morning and get dressed. One of his hands holds the bowl in place, the other hand uses a spoon, but his eyes, from beneath the cover of his hair, are fixed upon Cameron. She's pottering around the kitchen with a piece of toast and her usual absent-but-curious expression on her face. She's watching John's Mom and Derek bicker with low voices at the other end of the room. John might have been watching them himself under different circumstances but this morning, today, he's more interested in Cameron. His fingers can still remember the feel of her beneath his touch as he cut her open and removed her mind-chip.

In the beginning, when they'd first met, after he'd found out what she was, it had been somewhat disturbing. A little creepy. More than a bit weird. And even now, he'll always start to think he's got her figured out just when she goes and does some new unexpected thing. Sometimes he even thinks she has a perfectly tuned sense of humour, but there's also the possibility that she's simply being bizarrely serious.

_She doesn't have a soul and you don't have to trust her. You just have to trust me._

There's no denying the fact that, when he first saw her, he found her attractive. That very moment he'd laid eyes on her he'd found her appealing, back at the school. It had been simpler then, of course, though a hot-chick-paying-him-attention thing had been a bit unexpected all in itself. But back then he'd been able to just sit and enjoy looking at her. Complication free attention. Now he's been screwed over by the fact that underneath that skin of hers, wires and circuiting run, and it makes her beauty lopsided or uneven, as if he was feeling something for a doll.

She sort of is a cleverly made doll.

_She has no soul and you don't have to trust her._

Of course his Mom has made it that bit more unhinged by getting Cameron to play the part of his hypothetical sister. Cameron, his sister? Perhaps it simplified things on the school records but it really gave him a psuedo-incestous feeling when he--

_A pseudo-incestuous feeling about a machine?_

He looks down at his bowl and realises that it is empty. He looks up from the bowl and realises that Cameron has come to a stand still beside the kitchen sink. She's watching him with her wide-eyed-innocent look. His fingers can feel the memory of her skin beneath his touch. His heart can feel the memory of his terror that she might not wake up. The terror that he might have killed her.

_Machines can be killed._

_She has no soul._

He looks at her and sees again the complete and utter trust in her eyes from the night before, trust such as no-one has ever looked at him with before. God, what a powerful thing trust is...

She trusts him.

And he trusts her.

_One of these days, one of these things will kill you._

_It won't be this model._

He wonders if he loved her in the future as well.

He wonders how you're supposed to deal with these kinds of impossibilities.


End file.
